[step]
by Nifty Kitten
Summary: When two people dance like a war, a single step is a conversation.


**[step]**

_That is what war is, and dancing. It is forward and back.  
When one is out walking, one wants not to go back the way they came,   
but in dancing and in war it is forward and back._  
--"Everybody's Autobiography", Gertrude Stein

I step and she follows. _[step two three four]_ Her eyes hold mine like claws. _[i could drown in you]_ I cannot look away, but looking at her hurts me. _[pleasure pain]_ We have circled the floor dozens of times. _[around and around]_ I should be dizzy from it, but it is the feel of her hand in mine that makes me lightheaded. _[skin like silk]_

The heels of her shoes clack against the hardwood floor. _[clickity-clack]_ I cannot hear the noise of them over the beating of my heart. _[thump thump]_ It deafens me and I do not notice when she speaks, except that her lips move. _[full soft kissable]_ I blink and wonder if she sees that I'm lost in her. _[which way is up]_ My hand is on her waist and I can feel her breath. _[in out in out]_ Her shirt bunches under my palm and it is soft. _[silk satin velvet]_ Dancing is like fighting. _[punch kick dodge]_ We dance like a war. _[peace treaty]_

I remember leaving her. _[can't breathe]_ I remember hating her. _[come out and face me]_ I remember when we fought a war like a dance. _[cue the finale]_ She's making sure I know how to dance. _[jitterbug waltz mambo flamenco]_ I don't know how long we've been like this. _[hate me hate you]_ It must be hours since we ate lunch and began dancing. _[punching kicking dodging]_ Sparks fly when we stand too close. _[electrocute me]_ I don't know if she feels them. _[wake up]_ It may be just me. _[kiss me kill me]_ I can't remember anything before her in my arms. _[make me forget]_ The war is over and yet we still fight. _[dance]_ I skirt around the issue when we speak. _[words sentences]_ I don't want to find out if I'm alone in this. _[together]_ I don't want to know if she still hates me. _[burn with it]_ She hated me once. _[still]_ She isn't here out of choice. _[yes no]_

Her voice breaks the silence. _[hello]_ I savour the sound of it, but do not reply. _[seen and not heard]_ We weave through the furniture in a pattern set by her. _[where do we go]_ The furniture was to be a test of maneuverability. _[slip in and around]_ The furniture does not move like couples on the dance floor will. _[bump trip skip]_ She worries that I'll embarrass both of us. _[oops]_ I've been dancing since I was a child. _[fighting]_ I move us between the sofa and a table, sliding our bodies gracefully across the floor. _[fred astaire ginger rogers]_ The space is nearly too small for us, but we move closer together and just fit. _[touch me]_ When we escape the confines of that tiny space, I spin us around and take us back through. _[again again]_ I enjoy having you so near to me. _[closer still]_

I concentrate on putting her mind at ease. _[pajamas]_ Reaching a clear spot on the floor, I twirl her around. _[don't fall down]_ She laughs with the fun of it. _[bells]_ A smile nearly splits my face in half. _[break me open]_ I've never heard her laugh like that before. _[sunshine rainbows]_ It was always an angry, bitter sound. _[wicked witch]_ Her laughter surprises us both and we stop moving. _[forward backward]_ My eyes still stare into hers. _[slip inside me]_ They're blue like bluebirds and sunny skies. _[blue blood]_ I wonder if she's noticed the colour of my eyes. _[roll in the grass]_ I could listen to her laugh like this for hours. _[happiness is]_

I could burn up in her brightness. _[sun moon stars]_ She is so much more than I remembered her to be. _[queen goddess]_ She moves like water, but she doesn't cry. _[tears rain down]_ Her voice is like music, but she doesn't sing. _[fa so la ti]_ Her laugh is like springtime, but she doesn't plant seeds. _[grow old with me]_ She smiles like the sun shines, but she doesn't rise and set. _[nova]_

When she finally stops laughing, her face is pink with the joy of it. _[pretty in pink]_ The muscles in my face ache from smiling so long, but I can't seem to stop myself. _[no wait don't stop]_ She seems to be having a similar problem. _[wait for me]_ I let go of her waist to touch my fingertips to her flushed cheek. _[blood red]_ It is warm and soft and makes me think of words like 'safe' and 'home'. _[baby blankets teddy bears]_ She turns her face into my hand. _[lips skin]_ My eyes slide shut and I concentrate on the feeling. _[hallelujah]_

Without noticing it, we've started dancing again, gliding around the room. _[step two three four]_


End file.
